A certain abnormal feeling that makes me realize how useless I am in situations

I won't say it's a "oh wow you suck" kind of thing but self realization?

That I'm so used to dealing and solving my own problems

It's not in me to tell people anything but "You have to pull yourself out from it"

Selfish? Unable to think for others?

I'm not really sure.

I'm ahead of my times as a 19 year old kid

I've achieved, definitely, much more than anyone my age would have

There's no stopping in me because I just keep working towards my goal without stopping

I'll always find loopholes to get myself through

But not everyone is like that

Especially that of my closest friends

We're all very different, very insecure creatures

Suicide attempts not unheard of

Though thankfully, not recently.

There's so many things I wish I could solve but I know I cannot solve.

I can't provide the correct sympathy because I'm just not the right person.

They want someone who can relate to it, who can tell them that it's all going to be fine but

As much as I want to tell them that how much sincerity and truth is inside that one sentence?

How am I to tell someone "I know you're going to be fine" when I myself am worrying on and on about them

I'm straightforward, crude

It doesn't really bounce off really well with the type of people I'm around most of the time

But yet I myself am brought up to believe that if you don't take the initiative to change yourself no one else is going to be able to do anything about it

I don't know.

How can I change myself?








-Yumi.