Just for some information. Actually, maybe not information, but opinion.

Was going to Kasee's the other day with her, and she asked me this question.

"Why did you drift away from us?"

Honestly, I know I didn't give her a definite answer that day.

So she said, "It must be those cosplay friends!"

Perhaps.

Except, maybe they're not as evil as she made them out to be.

Haha.

If we really had to talk about this...then we probably have to rewind a far time back.

Say, sometime before April. Or even further back.

I know it's kind of subjective on my part, but I felt like I was being left out, almost all the time.

I...just couldn't feel it anymore from any of you.

Maybe it's because I wasn't actually close to any of you to start with, I don't know.

It was just a feeling that my presence was left untouched whenever I was with you guys.

Maybe the whole reason why I was so close to some of you was because you guys had the same interest as me at one point of time.

Maybe the whole reason why I didn't matter much after a while was because all of you just...moved on.

Without me.

Or that's what I felt.

I didn't want to believe it, but maybe I was right all along.

Remember Alex's birthday party? I don't think anyone knows except for my mum, but I cried so hard that night.

The way you guys treated me like I didn't matter, I..really just wanted to breakdown in front of all of you that night. But it was Alex's special day, I just couldn't. Yeah?

A few days after that I probably became worse. I started crying in front of the computer. My whole world just felt like it was breaking down. Literally.

And to talk about those cosplay friends you mentioned -- I kinda fell out with some of them around the same time.

But I wasn't really all sobby and emotional over them.

Then I went back to read stuff that you wrote for me once. It gave me hope, hope that I still mattered to you guys somewhere deep inside your heart.

So I wrote the "Friendship Appreciation Day" message, in hope that maybe you guys would notice something. Probably, something off. Something like...I wanted you guys to know and give me hugs or something like that.

Not that it happened in the end.

But believe me -- remember that time you guys called me over to kinda 'party' at your house? I was happy. Truly happy. I still mattered.

And then we started playing games, and I realized you guys were only cheering for Sammy. And then I thought, maybe not.

I'm sorry if, everything was just my overthinking.

But, I really don't want to keep crying over this, for the whole year, for my whole life.

Maybe we were just meant to cross paths.

Maybe we weren't stay to hold forever.

I don't know.

Maybe I was just the mean one all along and ditched all of you behind.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, if everything was my fault.

But aren't you guys happier without me?





Because some of you make it seem so.

Stay happy guys.

I still love you all, even if you don't love me back.




-Yumi.


P.S. I also don't know if it were me, but being a sensitive girl I am, I realized that YM was talking about unfollowing someone, and she unfollowed me. Perhaps I'm thinking too much into the situation, I HOPE I'm thinking too much into the situation. But if I am really that much of a nuisance to her life, then I'm happy that she won't have to see me again once we are all go different ways.