Recently I realized how carefree I've been in my thoughts
and my first thought was, when did I stop caring about so many things?
It was funny how,
I thought it was a bad thing,
but thinking again now
maybe it's not all that bad.
I noticed that after my 18th birthday,
When I vowed that,
I want to grow up,
many things had started changing for me,
many things that, would affect me in the past
I would try to understand, and close one eye,
It was like,
as if I could easily tell myself nowadays
"If something isn't going your way, then maybe it's just not the right time."
I used to get really exasperated by that thought,
after all there's only so much time we have in this world, and we want to make use of every moment,
but rather than trying to make use of every moment,
why not turn every moment into something useful?
I don't know if that made sense.
I don't pray for everything to turn in my favour,
if that could happen, I would be god.
The most important is having to try,
and knowing you've tried.
I don't regret, any moment of my life,
even if I had made mistakes,
miscalculated my actions,
let the wrong words out of my mouth,
that's my past.
what's left for me is my future.
of course, people like to say that your past will come back to haunt you but,
if you really wanted to forget,
you would.
Maybe it's because I grew up in a blessed environment,
a family who loves and cares for me,
friends who are always there for me,
opportunities and chances knocking at my door.
So maybe you can say I don't understand how others might feel.
That's true, because I am who I am, I am not you, neither am I her.
Everyone thinks differently, no one person is the same as another.
But that's what makes all of us special, and that's what makes all of us blessed in our own ways.
Although maybe, I won't be able to speak from your point of view.
But I hope that everyone out there can see, how much it is a blessing to be alive.
Everyday we wake up to a new day, a day where we can choose to change ourselves,
change our world.
I don't want to waste any day, moping about simply because
My life is more precious than that.
Then I think, maybe this is also why, I've become more short-tempered towards others,
in which I would think, "We've been this through so many times, why are you still stuck on that same page?"
Till I read on tumblr yesterday, this quote
"
Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. "
I have blessed to have emotional and psychological education,
but does everyone else?
Then I thought,
how about those older than me?
Maybe they're late bloomers, I thought.
Not everyone in this world is,
gifted with the power to feel,
to process their emotions and thoughts rationally,
that's why I'm thankful.
And that's why I also must learn to be the bigger person.
It's not about giving in to them, it's about understanding where they come from and give them guidance
Impart what you know to them.
Whether they take it, just remember you've done your best.
I think this is allll my jumbled up thoughts again.
Haha!
I remember how whenever I type a blogpost here I usually get very...emotional and start tearing up in bed, or I just start thinking the whole night away.
I kind of miss doing that, but I need my sleep as well.
There's maybe, a lot of things that I used to think about that I have found my answers for.
As for the unanswered ones, I don't let them bother me, they're there, but it shouldn't be what eats me up. It's just there.
To anyone who may read this,
I'm sorry if I made no sense as usual
but I just want to let you all know,
one day we'll all grow up.
As much as we don't want to, we all have to grow up one day.
So instead of dreading it,
let's enjoy everyday with a smile.
To be honest I used to think that growing up would be horrible, but I guess it isn't that bad of thing after all.
-Yumi.
是DNA 唱我反调 还是我 的命运 不敢自编自导
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